


You Are My One and Only, You Are the One Who Knows Me

by Sunshineshipper



Category: Alvin and the Chipmunks - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-27 00:42:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17756525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunshineshipper/pseuds/Sunshineshipper
Summary: What happens when Alvin admits his feelings? What kind of answer is Simon supposed to give?





	You Are My One and Only, You Are the One Who Knows Me

“I can guarantee you that I really didn't want to kiss Jenny,” Simon taps his finger against the locker next to Alvin's, just to see if it'd get Alvin to give him anymore attention besides an aggravated scoff after every other sentence. And surprisingly it works and he's staring straight into Alvin's deep blue eyes. Full of frustration and a slight irritation, he has to glance down to the ground, “I promise you it was merely for the benefit of the play. Nothing else. I have no interest in her.”

“I never said you did, Simon,” he throws the last book in his hands into the locker causing it to hit the wall with a loud thud that echoes through the hallway. Yet he keeps the same nonchalant facial expression as if the act didn't give off how angry he actually is.

Simon swallows hard, “I-I know, but it just seems like you're not exactly happy with me. Ever since the play, you've been avoiding me and I've been trying to apologize for-”

Alvin interrupts by slamming his locker and turning all of his attention toward Simon, “I don't want an apology. I want you to go back in time and stop it.”

“You know I can't do that. H-How did you figure I'd be able to do that?”

He shrugs, throws his book bag over his shoulder, and begins walking away, “You're the scientist. Figure it out.”

“Alvin!” He's getting agitated. He knows his brother can be stubborn, but to not listen to anything he has to say? To ask for impossible tasks to make up for something that's barely his fault?

He almost runs up to Alvin just to spin him around to confront him, but then he shoots back at Simon and his bag slams to the floor. Simon steps back out of fear.

“Have you ever considered that this might not be about her?!” He screams and he's not entirely sure how to respond. Briefly, he just stares at Alvin whose balled up fist somewhat scare Simon. That is until he sees them straighten out again. He doesn't look as mad as he did a few moments before. He almost looks startled. The quick changing attitude confuses Simon, “Because it's not.”

“Alvin,” he risks a step close, then another and just stands there, “If it's not about her, then who is it about?”

Alvin's shaky eyes find Simon's and his chest seems to tighten. He shakes his head back and forth hoping he'd get a better answer than that.

“Think real hard about who else was involved in that kiss, then tell me if you're ready for that answer.”

He has to analyze the statement. If this isn't about Jenny or his feelings for her, then it has to be him. It's the only other option. But why him specifically? What could Alvin possibly be dealing with that's about him and has to cause this much of a problem? At least with Jenny it was an easy answer. He was jealous.

Unless…

'No, Simon. Don't get weird.’

“Alvin, I'm genuinely confused on what's going on.”

“Welcome to my world,” a chuckle slips out followed by Alvin nervously chewing at his bottom lip, “I wish it wasn't you.”

Immediately Simon's brow raises, “So, this is about me.”

“I-It's always been about you, Simon. I don't want it to be, but…” 

Simon tries to remember the day he told his brother's about the play. The hurt expression Alvin had given. How every single time he mentioned it, he would just shut down. Even when he tried to get Simon to quit the show. He thought he was just being stubborn for the sake of Jenny.

It was about him.

He didn't want Simon to kiss her because he's jealous.

Of Jenny.

“O-Oh. Oh, boy, that's…”

“Yeah, well.”

The revelation flutters in and out of Simon's brain and he wonders a million different things at once. How long and what triggered it and more importantly what's got to be running through Alvin's mind. All of this is difficult, so it's twice as hard for him.

And he seems to be able to read every thought. It's not pleasant knowing that Alvin can figure him out so well, “I'll tell you everything if you want. I promised myself that if I ever did let you know that I wouldn't hide the details from you.”

Simon nods, then finally realizes their surroundings. He's surprised by the lack of foot traffic in this particular area, but he's not willing to risk having such a private conversation in an area where anyone could show up. He sighs, makes his way over to Alvin- who's confusion radiates on his features- and points to the door of the entrance way.

“Are you feeling hungry?”

“Always,” it didn't occur to him how much he appreciates Alvin's grin until just now when it spreads across his mouth while he takes his place next to him, “Whatcha offering?”

“Dinner. Wherever you want. I can afford it.”

If it sounded like he was asking for a date, Alvin didn't pay any mind to it and really he wasn't. He just felt like it was in the best interest for both of them to discuss it, but alone or at least away from where all of their peers are at.

“All right. Lead the way.”

************************

It was definitely less quiet in the diner that Alvin had chosen to eat at compared to school, even with the maximum of three tables, excluding their own. It's Alvin's turn to nervously tap as his fingers hit against their cold table that he chose in the back of the restaurant. It's greasy, Simon immediately wanted to move as soon as Alvin sat down. But then Alvin gives him an up and down look and he didn't feel like hunting down another one.

Especially with the server tapping her pen against her pad unenthusiastically waiting for them to order. Alvin makes it simple. Cheeseburger, fries, and his obvious favorite chocolate milkshake. Simon doesn't bother searching through the menu and just orders the exact same thing minus the milkshake.

Then, they're alone as the server leaves to place their order. Alvin tugs at the straw dispenser as if he's too bored to pay attention to him. Meanwhile, Simon can't seem to control his nerves that cause him to gulp down half of his soda in one take. Alvin just glares with that same nonchalant impression. Simon smiles, which does the trick in getting him to avert his attention to anywhere except him.

Simon swears he sees Alvin's lips curl into a small smile.

“S-So,” Simon fake coughs into his palm. He was hoping he wouldn't have to be the first to bring up what happened, “Where should we start?”

The hand that had been pressed into his cheek since they arrived falls to the table and he opens his mouth to speak only to stay silent for as long as he can. Simon tries not to seem like he's rushing.

“Well, I think one thing has to be said just for clarity's sake. I'm for sure that any feelings that you thought I had toward Jenny are actually directed toward you.”

It wasn't expected for Alvin to be so bold in admitting his feelings so quickly. In fact, Simon was certain he'd have to trick Alvin into slipping it out.

“Okay,” he exhales, “That's become obvious to me now.”

Alvin studies the table, “Can I just… say… that I did try to prevent this. I didn't want to...you know.”

Finally. There's the awkwardness he was expecting.

“No, I don't know anyone who'd be willing to be in your position.”

He rolls his eyes, “Right. Well, I am, of course. And I'm sure you're wondering how I got here.”

“That has crossed my mind.”

Alvin finds a particularly fascinating spot behind Simon that he just stares at, but he knows that he's trying to pinpoint the moment this all started. It gives Simon the time to examine the details of his appearance. The red hat that's usually facing frontward is now switched backwards leaving parts of Alvin's hair sticking out while some pieces almost cover up his eyes. Simon has to fight the startling urge to sweep the hair back, so he places his hands to his sides.

His usual ‘A’ hoodie is replaced with a red colored t-shirt. He's almost certain it's the exact same one he wears to bed that he had to choose to wear to school due to his late sleeping schedule. Simon absent mindedly grins. Alvin doesn't notice, though.

Alvin's hands haven't seemed to stop shaking, even earlier when he was fiddling with straws and acted calm. Simon can tell, he's a terrified wreck right now and he gets that. Alvin's an expert at pretending everything's okay with him.

Then, he begins to wonder something almost frightening: How is he taking this so well? This is Alvin. It's not every day that he has a conversation about his affections toward him and never when those affections lead to feelings. Which, he knows, should be making him disgusted; however, all he wants is for Alvin to keep talking. That way he can piece all of this together.

'But what happens when you have the puzzle solved and he wants an answer?’

“Do you remember your old friend Jamie?” Alvin manages to ask and Simon hums as a response, “Somewhere around then.”

“Really?” Simon asks, genuinely confused by the answer.

“W-Well, our friendship was put to the test, Si. You practically put Jamie ahead of me. The way you acted when you found out he wanted to be my friend, you might as well have.”

Simon frowns. Clearly he gave off some sort of vibe that Jamie- or anyone for that matter- could ever take the place of him in his life. Yes, he did appreciate Jamie's friendship at the time, but Alvin had a special place reserved for him. He had always been the one he told everything to. Shared every new achievement with. Played every new video game with as soon as he had it. And more importantly, Alvin was honestly the one he considered his best friend.

“The night when I told you what happened with Jamie, I was so incredibly jealous of how you treated him. Like he was some fragile doll you had to protect from me when all I wanted was to make sure he didn't end up hurting you.”

“I-I didn't know that at the time. I promise you I think he's a complete jerk now.”

“Same,” Alvin chuckles, “But then it just reminded me of what a jerk I was being. I kept ditching you for my friends and never paid much attention to it. Eventually, though… somewhere after Jamie, I didn't want to spend anytime with them. Just you.”

Simon can feel the heat creep up to his cheeks. He does remember when that started. Every time he'd ask Alvin if he wanted to finish a video game, he'd say yes and Simon never questioned it. But then Alvin would ask for homework help or to assist Simon on a project and it did seem off, but Simon can't remember being bothered by it. At all.

“C-Couldn't… didn't it occur to you that you might've just wanted to spend time together? That it didn't mean anything serious and you just wanted to be close because we're brothers?” Simon asks even though he's sure Alvin already thought of that.

Alvin flinches, “Yeah, it did, but…” he begins looking scared, “Friends… brothers don't have the kind of closeness I was looking for. I-I…”

“Here we go, fellas,” comes the almost obnoxious voice of their server sitting down two plates in front of them. Briefly, he forgot that they were in a diner waiting for food. How long had it been?

Alvin immediately drags the milkshake to himself, but just glares down at it while Simon thanks their server as she walks away. He doesn't feel as hungry as he did when they first arrived and it was obvious that his brother across from him felt the same way.

“It started out like that. I wanted to be a better brother to you because I didn't want to lose you to another Jamie that came along. And for a while that's what I did.”

He mindlessly bites into a fry, “What changed?”

Finally, Alvin meets Simon's eyes and it's pitiful the look he's giving, “I wanted more.”

Simon's close to choking on his fry. Alvin notices and pushes the soda closer toward him, which Simon finishes up.

“Thank you,” he manages to say, “Wh-What, um… more?”

“Yes. More. Not too much more if that's what you're thinking. I mean…” he throws his eyes to the wall, then back, “When we were working on your science project a month ago and you finally figured out how to get it to work, your eyes would just light up with excitement and all I could think was how amazing it was to see you so happy. H-How… cute I thought you were when you looked at me with that same excitement.”

Simon's heart skips. That's new.

“A-And I remember it took every ounce of strength I had not to tell you that and about a million other things. Eventually, I was used to hiding my feelings. It was no problem. And you had no idea?”

Simon shakes his head while clenching and unclenching his fist, “Not until today.”

An arrogant look pops up on his, “I guess that proves how great of an actor I am.”

“Nice,” he smiles, but honestly it's relieving to see him happy. Simon likes seeing Alvin happy.

“Okay, so,” Simon momentarily watches as Alvin takes a bite of the cheeseburger, “We've established that you do have feelings and when it happened. Now I think I want to know why. Why me? For years now I've always been your nerdy brother.”

“No, you've always been more than that to me,” Alvin flips through the fries on his plate unaware of how powerful of a statement that was on Simon. He's suddenly trying to fit romantic feelings into years worth of torment. Yeah, he knows Alvin didn't always have them, but he's cared for Simon every single day. In one way or another.

“Explain,” Simon realizes it's forced only after Alvin's brow furrows.

“Simon, no matter what, you're my best friend. Above everything you come first. Even before I developed a thing for you.”

“What about when you would constantly ditch me for your other friends?”

Alvin sits back in the booth, crosses his arms, and goes silent in thought. Simon takes the chance to try to eat his own burger. He didn't take into account how messy it was until he could feel ketchup dripping down his chin. He heard a stifled laugh across from him. Alvin, who already had a napkin in his hand, wipes away the mess. He's a lot closer, Simon gets a hint of the cologne Alvin bathes in every morning and for once it's not overbearing. Simon has to remember how to exhale.

What's happening to him?

“I know what it seems like. I did ditch you, I won't deny that, but I did like hanging out with you.”

Simon's vision blurs until he can't see anything except Alvin. Then, he can feel his light touch on his cheek.

“Your eyes.”

Simon squints, “Beg pardon?”

“I like your eyes. How they brighten when your happy. How they gloss over when you're sad. Even when you get mad and they seem to darken. Honestly that's my favorite.”

Simon blinks. Out of nowhere, he presses his cheek further into Alvin's palm and just breathes in. Until Alvin quickly pulls his hand back, throwing out an apology before tightening his eyes.

Simon puts it together, it felt like he was toying with Alvin's feelings just then, “Alvin, no, i-it's… I don't know why…”

“I don't think I'm that hungry anymore.”

He sinks. Why did he do that?

“It was easy, you know… before you knew. Nothing I did had any romantic intentions behind it. Now, it all does and you know it does. It's going to be awkward. I didn't want that.”

“Alvin, I promise. It won't.”

“You can't do that. Geez, Simon, you kissed Jenny for a play and I broke down. What happens when you find someone you actually like? Then, you'll be happy and I'll be the sicko who has an unrequited crush on his brother. Of all people,” he presses his hand into his forehead, “A-And you'll still know.”

“Alvin, you know how I feel about relationships.”

“Yeah, yeah. You put science before any of that. I know,” he brushes his hand in the air. Simon's frustration is starting to build up again. It's as if he's blaming him for this when he didn't do anything. Alvin's the one who admitted to having these feelings and he's the one who claimed he'd tell him everything. That's all he wants. The truth. So, maybe he'd have to also be honest.

“I'd sooner date you than any girl I could find,” Simon feels his head spin, he blinks a few times before daring to meet Alvin's stare. And he shouldn't be surprised to see Alvin blushing and his lips hanging open, “S-So-”

“What did you just say?” His voice is so fragile.

“Alvin, please-”

“Nope. No, no, no. You aren't about to change the subject on me like that. Not with that big of a confession.”

“I-I… Fine, okay. Fine! I might somewhat sort of feel the same. Obviously not at the same rate, but... These past couple of months with you, they've been wonderful. Can you remember the last time we've fought?” Simon waits for Alvin to shake his head, “Exactly. But I don't want to promise something I'm not even sure about. I'm not as guaranteed as you. I just know that no one has made me feel like you do.”

Alvin doesn't respond and Simon isn't about to force anything from him. He tries to control to control his breathing. Did he actually just admit all of that? Was it even true?

'Of course it is. Why else would you say it?’

What did he just risk by saying that? Alvin even said that the only reason he's been so decent lately is because Simon's lack of knowledge about his feelings and now that secret’s revealed along with his own confession.

Does Alvin actually make him that happy? He touches his cheek where he can still feel Alvin's fingertips lingering. So soft, so gentle. He bites his lip and risks a glance up to Alvin who's been watching his every move. Then, Alvin fiddles in his pocket for a twenty dollar bill that he throws on the table before jumping off the seat.

“No, Alvin, I told you I'd pa-” he goes silent once Alvin's hand brushes his wrist.

“Let's go, okay?” he doesn't wait for Simon to move when he pulls open the door. The bell sounds and automatically their server shouts out a goodbye while taking another table's order.

He tries to keep up with Alvin who's trying his best to keep a foot of distance between them. Simon doesn't push his boundaries. Instead, he fiddles with the bottom of his shirt and keeps his attention to Alvin's shoes to stay in the same direction. He wonders where they're going because they went the opposite direction of their home.

Did he somehow hurt Alvin? Is that why he's not saying anything? Does he even want him to follow? If so, he would've said so. Maybe he's trying to give hints. Like glancing back through the corner of his eye.

Simon sometimes hates himself.

Out of nowhere, Alvin halts and Simon almost bumps into him. He looks around, for some reason Alvin brought them to a dim alley. He turns back, but sees no one walking by. So, he spins back around to see Alvin's half kissed, frustrated expression.

“A-Alvin, what's-” but he can't finish fast enough for Alvin to push him up to the alley wall and presses his hand against Simon's neck. The overwhelming feeling returns this time spreading over every inch of his body, “A-Al-”

He's interrupted again by Alvin's lips crashing against his mouth.

'Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.’ It screams over and over in his mind along with how he needs to stop this now. Except he can't and all he knows to do is to grip the collar of Alvin's shirt to drag him in closer. Forcing Alvin's other hand to slam into the wall for a better angle.

There's no doubt now. Alvin's weaseled his way into his heart. Simon's fine with that and every single issue he knows they'll face just doesn't matter as long as Alvin keeps kissing him like this.

Eventually, though, Simon slips out a moan that causes Alvin to remove his mouth. Wide eyed, red faces, and breathing uncontrollably, he stares at Simon. Who can't help but grin. His eyes feel hazy.

“W-Wow,” he runs a fingertip over Alvin's neck. It's Alvin's turn to revel in the touch of him.

“S-Sorry, I couldn't help it and home was kind of far, you know?”

“Uh-huh,” he feels ridiculous by how goofy that must've come out. It didn't seem to matter to Alvin when he presses their foreheads together.

“So?”

“Hm. I think I want more as well. I want to be with you. I-Is that okay?”

Alvin sighs, “Perfect, Simon. That's perfect.”


End file.
